Turning Off Auto-Pilot

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to truly live for the moment? As humans, we are creatures of habit. We get up, get going, and typically follow the same routine and patterns of behavior on a daily basis. These behaviors are formed out of habitual learning. Our behaviors become automatic because we repeatedly engage in them over a long period of time. Science suggests that our brains hardwire our daily behaviors so that we can do them without giving them much thought. Have you ever found yourself driving along and arriving to your destination without ever noticing how you got there? That’s the hard wiring in your brain remembering exactly where to turn and when to turn while your mind is free to make a mental list of everything you need to pick up at the grocery store later that evening. The hardwiring of your brain allows you to function on auto-pilot - arriving to your destination without really thinking about what you are doing.

There are drawbacks to being on auto-pilot. It is in this space that we are free to wander aimlessly in our minds, which can often increase our stress, worry, fears, depression, and other pressing concerns. Here’s how:

Being on auto-pilot allows us to spend too much time mentalizing the could-of, would-of, and should-of of life. On autopilot, our minds are free to wander, which for most people means thinking about (or rather overthinking about) the future or the past. For many people, these thoughts can become unproductive, damaging, or even toxic to their well being.

The second problem with autopilot is that it may cause us to get stuck. Always taking the same route, engaging in the same routine, doing the same habituated acts can impede our ability to make changes and foster growth. We may repeat patterns of behavior, rituals or routines that are unhealthy. I once worked with a client who was in recovery from alcohol addiction. They shared that they struggled to eliminate the habit of stopping off on the way home from work to pick up alcohol. Functioning on autopilot, they were taking the same familiar route they had always taken while they were drinking. We decided that the client should start taking a different route home to try and eliminate the urge to stop and get alcohol. It worked. She was no longer tempted to stop because she was doing something that was out of her norm, out of her routine, and took her off autopilot.

A third problem with autopilot is that we tend to act impulsively when on autopilot. If we are not paying attention to our surroundings, we are less likely to perceive it accurately and may respond to a stimulus swiftly and without thinking. Say you are driving around on autopilot, losing yourself in your long list of “should haves”, and what seems like out of nowhere you get cut off by another driver. You immediately erupt in expletives, possibly even throw the other driver a glare, and in some cases, take it even further. There is a chance that if you had been mindfully aware of the present moment and your surroundings, you may have been able to more accurately anticipate the vehicle pulling out. You may not have gotten as enraged, because your brain would have been able to react from a place of reason and logic, rather than from a place of fear. Being on autopilot may facilitate a response based in fear and reactivity, rather than from one that is reflective and anticipatory because you are not engaged in the present moment.

A key skill in switching off auto pilot is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness allows us to be more present in the moment and shift our focus back into the here and now. When using mindfulness techniques, we can become more in tune with our body and our mind, which actually allows us to notice when we are moving into autopilot - giving us the power to switch it off when it is not benefiting us. A key to mindfulness is the practice of just letting your thoughts, feelings, and emotions arise without placing a judgement on them or trying to react to them or block them out. You simply observe them, and let them be.

When I train my clients on mindfulness skills, here is what I tell them: With mindfulness, you shift away from thinking you have to do something about how you are feeling, what you are thinking, or emotions you are having and instead focus on just letting them be. You may actually get into the practice of saying to yourself something like “I’m feeling very anxious right now. I feel tense. I feel nervous” and simply leaving it at that. No need to do something about feeling anxious, tense, or nervous. Just notice they are happening and pay attention to the experience. It’s the judgment - the belief - that you have to somehow solve or eliminate the feelings, emotions, or physical states that can typically increase anxiety.

In Breathe Magazine’s “Mindfulness Journal” suggestions for deepening your mindfulness skills and learning to turn off the autopilot are offered.

1. Take a mindful walk. Paying attention to your surroundings as you walk and focus in on the physical sensations of walking. Lose yourself in the environment - the different colors and textures of your surroundings - and take in all the sights, sounds, smells, and touches of your atmosphere.

2. Set auto triggers. A friend of mine who was intentionally focused on building a positive mindstate set her iphone with an alarm every hour that triggered her to recite a positive mantra. It was “I believe in miracles.” It was a gentle reminder to “snap” out of autopilot and incorporate a positive frame of reference, thereby setting and reinforcing the tone for the day. Use such alarms to practice being mindful - taking in the present moment as it is for just a few minutes.

3. Do things you have been putting off. Procrastination and avoidance are deeply connected to the state of being on autopilot. You may go about your day to day tasks like clockwork but the things you have been putting off are hanging around using up space in your mind, and distracting you from being fully present (because you may get stuck in the anxiety of dreading the things you are putting off). Moving those dreaded items and tasks to the top of your to do list (and doing them!) frees your mind to be more attentive in the here and now.

4. Be aware of how you use digital communication. This is a big one. One of the most discussed topics in my client’s therapy sessions is the impact of social media on day to day functioning. Today’s technology allows us to be constantly connected to people in our lives. This is both wonderful, and a challenge. Social media allows us to float endlessly in comparison, which can deepen anxiety and depression. Constant access to emails allows work to creep into our personal lives. Text messages blur the boundaries of personal separation and space. Take a moment to find a balance between appreciating the opportunities that exist in the digital age and the joy of having good personal boundaries, quiet time, and a space that feels all yours with no interruption. Also, when you feel compelled to check in on social media, email, or texts, evaluate your emotions and motivations for doing so.

5. Pencil in spontaneity. When is the last time you ignored your to do list? Spent the day away from work? Randomly saw a movie on your own or called a friend for lunch out of the blue? Being spontaneous is a sure way to interrupt autopilot. Embrace moving away from the “typical” routine and allow yourself to feel disconnected, if only for a short while, from your list of shoulds. Doing so will foster the ability to connect to the here and now and deepen your mindfulness skills.

For more on developing mindfulness skills, pick up a copy of Breathe Magazine’s “Mindfulness Journal” which I found at Barnes and Noble. And breathe, notice, and take in all that the day truly has to offer.